Posted August 18, 2023

The yellow Monster with the flashing eyes is waiting to whisk your child away for the day. Some kids will be gobbled up for the first time but some will stay home for school. In the last newsletter we discussed how no matter what, learning happens all the time. We can’t stop it. Every interaction will affect each child’s view of the world they are living in. This week I want to share some insights from award winning retired teacher John Taylor Gotto.

John spent much of his life teaching 8th grade in New York City and was awarded teacher of the year both locally and state wide several times. He points out that school is easy, because someone else tells you what to do and how to do it. Unfortunately, that leads to kids becoming dumber because their natural curiosity is being crowded out by a day full of standing in line, waiting, sitting at a desk, waiting, doing whatever you are told to do, waiting, and even homework which cuts into your “free” time to explore your world on your terms. In addition, the curriculum is determined by someone else – not you.

Education, however, is hard. It is self initiated and requires you to take charge of your own life. So, John brings up the huge differences between what the public schools and even many homeschoolers teach, versus what the “elite, rich” parents want for their child’s education.

The wealthy send their kids to about 20 premier schools. Often those teachers don’t even have teaching certificates. Of course their kids need to learn basics, and they know that each of those subjects (reading, math, etc.) can easily be taught in 30 to 80 hours. It’s the timing. When does the child have the drive to go for it? When they are totally fascinated by a book, they will figure out how to read it quite quickly, and then there is no stopping them. I know a family whose child didn’t talk. He made noises and they knew he understood them, but no words came out of his mouth. Suddenly at about age 4, he decided it was time. Out came full sentences and now they can’t get him to shut up.

Here are some things the elite want their kids to learn that aren't going to be found in most schools….

1) Manners/Etiquette. A child who is always polite and knows how to treat others and does it automatically to EVERYONE will be welcomed everywhere. I see this every day at Discovery Park. Kids automatically helping others get the train back on the track, taking turns, encouraging each other and giving a helpful push on the go-karts. It’s not just their own family they are being polite to, it’s everyone else in the park. Even as they leave, they thank me for all the fun, without their parent’s reminder.

2) Hard intellectual knowledge – not watered down/simplified. They want their kids to work at understanding complex relationships and ideas. Read Moby Dick together and see the difficulty of managing a crew on a dangerous voyage to catch an elusive whale. It’s not about the whale. Get the original text, not some sissified version that simplifies everything. D. H. Lawrence called it “one of the strangest and most wonderful books in the world”.

3) The advice given to their children should be from people the parents know, trust and respect. There are too many agendas that can easily distort your child’s life. Get to know those who are interacting with your children – teacher, guidance counselor, coach. Invite them to dinner, a cookout or meet them at a restaurant. They will probably be shocked at your passion to know your kids influencers.

4) Inspire a love and appreciation of the land, animals and the natural world. It will always surround us, sustain us and bring our heart back in tune.

5) Their kids should learn a public sense of decorum (behavior with good taste and propriety). They should be able to adapt naturally to every situation with knowledge and sympathy.

6) They need a common core of shared ideas/values. Can they easily speak with grandma because we value the same basic things?

7) Leadership exercises – they do not want their kids having a managed/manipulated herd mentality. Their kids need to know how to rise above the crowd and think/decide for themselves.

8) They want individual attention for their kids (classes of less than 9) so the teacher truly has time to know what is going on with their child.

That’s enough for now, more next week. Note that none of these “rich people” expectations cost money. But this is the stuff that sets a child on a path way beyond the everyday. You can do these with your kids in easy, fun ways. Remember that kids don’t need teachers. They need guidance, love and a great role model. That’s you!

That’s what good play is all about.

No directions, nobody telling you that
“you can’t do it that way”.

It’s pure discovery!