Posted Nov. 17, 2023

As I build and maintain Discovery Park each day, I can usually tell what is going on with passive listening. I hear the zip-lines singing, the happy squeals on the wobbly merry-go-round and the sounds of a train race or when a train car goes off the track. When I hear crying, I can tell if it’s anger, frustration or pain. I listen to the kids splashing and laughing in the lagoon.... it’s so satisfying.

Kids emote! They don’t realize it, they just do. Emote is typically considered an exaggerated display of emotion. It is most commonly seen in the theatrical sense. Adults rarely emote unless they are angry or caught up in a heated debate. After years of being told to sit down, be quiet, etc., we have given up being expressive.

“Hello, how are you?” “I’m fine.” Worthless words – platitudes – empty of feeling. Wouldn’t it be more fun to answer “It’s another beautiful day to be alive!” or “I can’t wait to see what today’s adventures will bring!”

Answers like these start connections, interactions. It catches the other person completely off-guard. They want to interact, to “catch” what you have. Even a negative answer like “I’m having a rough morning” can create a positive interaction. The key is – you’re being honest. Honesty surprises others.

If you have ever studied “non-verbal communication”, you know that only about 35% of communication occurs through words. The other 65% comes through our body language, vocal inflection, facial expressions.

When you are around a person who understands how to communicate with their whole body, you are invariably intrigued. Flailing arms don’t count. Their face is expressive. Their voice has variability and pauses. They are talking to you, not looking around or at the phone. Your eyes meet, smiles break out or maybe a frown. You are connected. You want to keep the conversation going, you want to know this person.

Imagine reading a story to kids. “Once upon a time.... ” You can just read it like any other sentence, or you can generate mystery, excitement and desire if you put your whole heart into the phrase. The phrase can be said whimsically, with inquisitiveness, boldly or matter of fact. Each way you say it draws in the audience to the rest of the story in a different way.

Likewise, learning to let your “emotions”, your “soul” come out in your words will dramatically change the dynamics of your relationships. Consider the phrase “I love you”. Add one word – “I really love you” and it changes everything. Your heart is now talking instead of just your brain.

Most people desperately want/need approval. You could say “nice job”, but why not say “I really like the way you did.... ” has approval written all over it.

Straighten up, walk tall, smile, uncross your arms, lean into a conversation. Learn to emote. It shouldn’t be theatrical, but work on letting your feelings, your heart come into your conversations. Your heart truthfulness may open some surprising doors.

That’s what good play is all about.

No directions, nobody telling you that
“you can’t do it that way”.

It’s pure discovery!